I’ve lived a big part of my life doing this one thing. This one thing that literally destroys self-confidence and takes you so far away from valuing who you really are and what you have to offer to the world, that it stops you cold from taking action on so many opportunities.
That thing I’m talking about is comparing myself to others.
Growing up, I always compared myself to everyone. Other girls at school – their clothes, their hair, their body, their confidence, their ability to do things that I couldn’t get myself to do, and be better at subjects than me, like math and science and sports.
This continued on through university and of course as an adult. I continued to compare myself to many of the same ways as I did as a kid and added a whole new slew of things to compare – a better job, a better social life, a fitter body, greater self-control….
Comparing ourselves to others seems to be ingrained in us, just as many other emotions. We can virtually compare ourselves to others in every realm of our life. But what happens when we constantly compare ourselves to others, is more damaging than we think. It robs us of joy, self-satisfaction, and accomplishment and it stops us from living to our full potential.
These are the 4 reasons that comparing yourself to others stops us from moving ahead with any goals in our lives, whether it’s in our career, our fitness, our health, our love life…
1) As Dr. Seuss says: “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”.
Comparing yourself to others literally stops you from being your true self and sharing your amazing gifts with the world. Could it be that if you stopped comparing yourself to others than you may actually achieve the same level of success, in a way that resonates with you and in a completely creative way?
2) We compare the best we see in others to the worst we see in ourselves. Which is completely unfair. We may be incredible in other areas of our life, but by comparing we minimize the gifts we do have to offer.
3) Comparisons lead to resenting others for what we think we want and this kind of negative energy does nothing to improve our own life and well being.
4) We often compare things that are not complete truths. We see Facebook or Instagram friends and their ‘perfect’ pictures, which are often scripted, posed and just not their complete real life circumstance. Imagine the energy and joy you are depriving yourself of by comparing yourself to others, instead of focusing on things that will help you grow, and become the best version of yourself.
Take a moment and take a good look at all the amazing things you have to offer the world and to others. Are you a mom, a daughter, and sister, brother, friend? Are you amazing at your job, passionate about helping others, determined, kind, empathetic, funny, silly, strong, easy going, focused….we could be here all day listing the amazing things that we have to contribute to the world, and that impact others in a positive way daily.
Yet, somehow we wipe the slate clean and put our focus on comparing….
Let’s practice gratitude for the things we already have.
Let’s use the success of others for inspiration, not comparison.
Let’s genuinely celebrate others successes as if they were our own.
Let’s work on becoming a better version of yourself, not becoming someone we are not.
And since this is a fitness blog…Strive to be the best you can be physically within the context of your own life, not the guy or gal at the gym with the 6 pack or a perfect butt, who has a completely different life than you, with different priorities and different shortcomings of their own.
Have a fabulous day!